She have her credit card number and I quickly copied it down. The next day I went on a flower delivery site and delivered a $80 bouquet to the 4 houses around the house on either side of the street with a note saying ‘sorry for the noise, we apologise and won’t do it again’ They have been quiet ever since.”
Eggcellent
U/uglymountainman: “I was once staying at a friends house in the 7th grade. His older sister thought it would be a good idea to embarrass him in front of me by cracking an egg over his head from the top of the balcony when we got home from school.
My friend was infuriated and woke me up at 5:00am the next morning, went into the kitchen and started whisking a bowl of eggs. 5 minutes and 5 eggs later we went down stairs to his sisters room where he pored the whole bowl of whisked egg onto her face. The look of horror as she woke up with her face covered in egg was probably one of the funnest things i have seen in my entire life. To this day she has never f—– with him again.”
Eraser Surprise
One day in class, this kid is being a d— and throwing (his) stuff at me. Whatever, the usual. BUT when the teacher is turned away, I whip an eraser (one if his that he had thrown) at this kid’s face and hit him right in the middle of his…forehead. He’s stunned for a second and then tries to get me in trouble. B—- can’t do s— because a) it is his eraser and 2) no one believed that I would do something like that. Made my day.
Test Takedown
U/Samosa_Man: “Last year the kid who sat behind me in math copied my answers for the last 3 test. I told him to stop when I found out and he lashed out on me. So, during the exam I caught him taking my answers.
So i started to put the wrong answers, at the end he handed it in and while walking back to his seat I erased every answer I put in and looked him dead in the eye while doing it.”
Cookie Sabotage
U/Pipsqueak1995: “Not my personal revenge, but the older brother of a good friend of mine. He was a freshman in college, and was in band/on drumline. On a long bus ride, the upperclassman all decided to lock him in the bus bathroom (they had peed everywhere and it was horribly disgusting).
So, the next time they all took a trip, he made cookies but put laxatives in them and gave them out to all the upperclassman. Needless to say, he was never f—– with again.”
Retaliatory Bag
U/33mmpaperclip: “In high school there was a guy in our circle of friends who loved to kick someones bags around and throw them on the roof when that person wasn’t there as some kind of practical joke. It was pretty annoying but he found it funny.
Once when he wasnt looking, we took his discman, phone, and other breakables and put them in a friends empty bag. We managed to convince him it would be hilarious if he kicked the bag around for a while, before throwing it on the roof. His discman broke. It was hilarious.
Pencil Gambit
U/youhearaboutpluto: “When I was in middle school we had a period just for doing homework right after lunch. In my room there was this guy who would get up out of his seat and pass by me just so he could quickly slap my pencil while i was writing so i would smudge my paper and have to erase what I had and start over.
After he did this two or three times I realized he wasn’t going to stop, so when he was coming back from wherever he went I flipped my pencil so I was erasing my work instead of writing. He didn’t notice and promptly stabbed himself when he tried slamming his hand on what he thought was the eraser side of my pencil. He never interrupted me after that.”
We Are NOT Family
“She arrived with a smug expression, ready to claim her share of my great uncle’s inheritance. Ex: ‘I’m here for what’s rightfully mine.’ Lawyer: ‘Actually, you’re not included in the will.’ Ex: ‘What?! This is outrageous! I have a son with him!’ Lawyer: ‘Funny you should mention that because his will states that the $550,000 is to be split between his actual family, and you’re not mentioned at all.’ Ex: ‘But I deserve something!’
Me: ‘You had years to claim him as your own, yet you choose to keep us separate from him. All these years you told us your son’s father was from your previous marriage, and you were collecting child support from the father.’ Ex: ‘Yes, but your great uncle raised him like his own son, so he is family.’ Me: ‘Not according to the will!'”